White House counselor Kellyanne Conway in a well-publicized event, will depart her position in the Trump administration at the end of the month to focus on family matters. Kellyanne has been a stalwart Trump supporter and an outstanding spokesperson/advisor for President Trump since the beginning.
Kellyanne was one of Trump’s longest-tenured advisers in a White House known for staffing changes, Conway also established herself as one of his most visible advisors. Conway defended Trump through some of his most controversial and awkward moments. George Conway, the husband of Kellyanne, called the president “evil” and “racist.” George’s dislike for President is also well-publicized. Claudia Conway, the rebel 15-year-old daughter of Kellyanne and George Conway, made comments denounced her mother’s job. This has set up a very public family feud, putting Kellyanne in a very difficult position in the job she was performing for the President.
KellyAnne and her husband anti-Trump Lincoln Project founder and lawyer George Conway, made a stunning announcement that both were leaving their very public and divided political positions to spend more time with their children. Kellyanne said it was entirely her decision and stated that with her departure, “… it will be less drama, more mama.” Will Claudia perhaps see her internet cord cut that ends her child’s Instagram movie star career?
This public controversy is a private family matter – and should stay that way. However, from an outside observers view, a few things should be noted and questioned:
- Kellyanne never publicly denounced her husband.
- Kellyanne had a very unique way to be strong on her views, using facts and skillful language, without coming off as the “b*tchy woman.”
- Kellyanne, in the end, chose family over personal career.
- George’s Lincoln Project voice continues, Kellyanne’s voice has been silenced.
- Did George leverage Kellyanne’s higher notoriety in a way to advance his own project?
- Was George’s dissatisfaction over Kellyanne’s views entirely ideological, or was there any jealousy over Kellyanne’s success?
Many conservatives often speak of the traditional family as one of the key elements in driving a decent moral culture within society. Culture is upstream from politics. We have seen in the recent few months the youth of America join in with the violent political riots as well as the display of crime and violence driven often by dysfunctional families. At the core of families is the relationship between the husband and wife. We know that marriages are at historic lows, and divorce is rampant. If we can not get the man and woman back together in stable marriages, our society will be lost. Politics is just a mirror of this phenomenon.
This brings us to an interesting question for men, could you be married to a strong woman like Kellyanne Conway? Answer the question honestly, Kellyanne is beautiful and most likely rich and famous. In the real world, this is not always the norm.
Some men might say, “no way.” The words “strong” or even “successful” can be translated by some men into “b*tichy, bossy, and all-around difficult person” to live with. Better to have the dumb blond – beautiful with her mouth closed. Still, other men might think they are “woke” and would say they could be perfectly fine with it – in theory. In practice and with time, the truth may be different. The answer most likely is – it depends. This means if the two parties are adult enough and wise enough to work through any issues that may come up. Perhaps the Conway family is doing just this.
There was another public family in politics that had somewhat of a similar situation. Remember the Carville family – James Carville and Mary Matalin? Carville nicknamed the “Ragin Cajun,” was the lead strategist in getting Bill Clinton elected President in 1992. He was famous for telling Democrats, “It’s the economy, stupid.” In 1993 he married Mary Matalin, a political consultant best known for her work for the Republican Party. She served under President Reagan, was campaign director for President George H.W. Bush, and was an assistant to President George W. Bush. See a quick documentary on this couple below.
Perhaps one can pick up a few pointers on how to deal with a spouse with conflicting political views. The Carville family, despite their political disagreements, appeared to make it work. When watching the video, one is struck by the thoughtfulness and respect of each other in the midst of disagreements. This is something not really seen in the Conway family.
Many criticize conservatives, often as Christians and their evil god, that lord’s over women. It is true that in the past, it was a man’s world (religious or not) – it was a very physically demanding world. But this is not so true today. Are there any Biblical examples of women in leadership positions? Yes, if you weren’t aware here are just a few:
- Judges 4:4 – Deborah held court and ruled Israel at the time.
- Micah 6:4 – Miriam was a leader of the nation, along with Moses and Aaron.
- 2 Kings 22:14 – Huldah the prophetess.
- The whole book Esther is a story of Esther risking her own life to save the lives of the Jewish people.
- The book of Ruth, sort of a, rags to riches story, was the central figure in the story. Some interpretations showed her eventually becoming the manager of fields over men.
- Romans 16:1 – Phoebe held the title of “Deacon” in the church.
- Acts 16:40 – The believers gathered at the home of this businesswoman Lydia, an early church leader.
- Joel 2:28 – In prophesy, your sons and your daughters shall prophesy – not a role for men only.
So sorry, men, despite a few places Biblically where it does admonishing specific situations concerning women, the overall theme is that God used women in leadership positions, where it was fit for purpose at the time.
Look, we need to be a little bit realistic here. To think we are going back to the past, where it is only a man’s world, is not going to happen. At the same time, the traditional family is imperative for society to be successful. Here are a few suggestions that may help:
- Men will need to learn to get comfortable in their own skins when dealing with strong and successful women. Aren’t they all? Men will need to stop with the inferiority complexes and become jealous of our partner’s successes. Instead, join in their success and support them – even if at times one may not entirely agree. If one has a true partnership team – if one wins you both in marriage win – in humility.
- Women will need to learn to not use their successes as a club over their partner. Understanding that women have a desire to establish their independence, but this independence should not usurp the partnership of marriage – in humility.
- Communication and personality styles aside, remember at the core men and women’s basic needs are quite similar for both: 1) to feel loved, 2) to feel safe, 3) to be seen and heard, 4) to be allowed to be nurturing and feel vulnerable, 5) to feel sexually desired, and 6) to feel appreciated.
- Have your partners back. Commitment is an action that builds trust-trust provides space when conflict arises-space affords respect and forgiveness. No imbalance of power can take hold and maintain when the above is practiced.
In short, both men and women are going to have to up our games in marriage. Easy to say, huh? Becoming more adult and learning wisdom in our speech and actions would seem to be the order of the day. But how does one teach wisdom? We will let you help us with this question. One can not tell entirely, what is in the heart of Kellyanne, but her public persona has been a fairly good example for women to take a look at. George? A bit disappointing. This is just one opinion – what are your thoughts? Make your comments below.